DAY 2

This was by far the best day that week, and will definitely go down as one of my top days ever. Every morning the doctors and nurses would do rounds in the NICU and talk to the parents and get them up to date on what was going on with their baby. That morning they had decided it would be ok if I finally got to hold Dawson for the first time. I was over the moon and could not wait.

He was so precious. I hated all of the things he was hooked to (oxygen, feeding tube, IV, and a bunch of other things that I didn't understand) but I got to hold him and that's all I cared about at that moment.

While I was doting on my baby, there were things happening that I didn't get, but the doctors were throwing things around. Dawson's lungs weren't doing well so he was on antibiotics to get gunk out. He was having a hard time swallowing so they were having to suck saliva out of his mouth a lot. His umbilical cord was questionable, which made them suspicious of his kidneys and bowels. And probably more noticeable to others than to me at the time-his forehead was shaped a little different because his fontanelle had closed prematurely. The doctors also kept asking me about my blood Chromosome test results, but I didn't think anything of it. Surely they were just asking a lot of routine questions.

All of that meant nothing to me at the time because I looked at him and thought he was just my perfect baby that was just a little bit of a preemie.

How could anything be wrong with my baby? Everything was going to be fine and he would be in the nursery I had stewed over for months. He was going to wear the adorable outfits I had been very picky about. I was going to get home and finish his blanket because in a couple weeks he was coming home with me. And I couldn't be more excited.